ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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