By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
