How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
