then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
