2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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