He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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