This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize