So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
