well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
