i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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