grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
