Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
