WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
True college students do jello shots in the library
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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