Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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