there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
