The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
