apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you made out with another girl for some wings
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize