Got a toothbrush?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
