He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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