hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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