Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
