Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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