She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
