i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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