listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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