He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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