so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
