Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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