do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
