it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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