I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
