im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize