I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
