So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
