Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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