no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize