i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
