I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize