Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
