He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
