Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
