is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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