his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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