you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
