Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
