I am in a vortex of obligation.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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