haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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