dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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