Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
