i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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