I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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