i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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