She said her name was "party"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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