He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
