yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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