I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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