with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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