Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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