I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
