There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize