He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
