fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
