We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
BRING THE BAGELS
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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