I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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