I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
