Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
